It was a Sunday afternoon and I was rushing around gathering the final items for my business trip. This was going to be a long one. My girls were already dreading me being gone, scheming up ways to change my plans, crying tears of anticipatory sadness of those nights I wouldn’t be there to read with them and tuck them in to sleep, clinging to me for one more hug.
Although I’ve traveled my kids’ entire lives, and they are used to the routine, it hasn’t gotten a heck of a lot easier for them because any way you cut it, Mom’s gone. Skype, Facetime and cell phones help, but you can’t hug over a phone or computer. Despite my best routines and planning, it’s not always easy for me either. Mom-guilt is real and it can sneak up on you at your weakest moments. But like many Moms, I march on, try to stay positive, and work to make the best of our circumstances.
I lost track of the kids as I gathered my final items together and went out to the car. I looked around to find them to say good bye and they were nowhere in sight. I open the car door and suddenly there they were, tucked away on the floor, ready to come along. We laughed at the silliness of it all, and I did a quick good bye, which is always better for everyone, because I knew it would be a tough week.
This is the real story of career mothers like myself, who travel or work long hours, leaving behind the raw emotions of our kids, while wondering if we are doing the right thing. When we walk through the door at the office or join that meeting, we put our game face on, we redirect our energy and emotions and become great contributors and problem solvers at our companies.
Statistics show that companies need more women like us. Our instincts, attention to detail and empathy, combined with solid business skills, can help businesses thrive in the most difficult of times. We love what we do; and we love being parents.
I wish there was a pill we could take for Mom-guilt or a vitamin we could give our kids to make it better when we’re gone. The reality is, there is no magic solution. Over time, I have learned ways to manage through separation. I’ve become creative in talking about the adventure of the things I will see and the problems I will solve when I am gone. I focus on quality time before I leave or take on a big project; and I try to enjoy special times with them when things ease up. Most importantly, I try not to shut down my kids’ emotions when they are frustrated or sad, because this is real life for them.
Every time I pack for a trip, I realize it’s more than just my clothes that I bring along in my luggage. I also carry with me the plan to manage it all when I am gone. Sometimes the load is heavier and sometimes it’s lighter, but part of being a working mom is figuring it out. The best ideas that help me balance it all come from other working women like me who open up, share their vulnerabilities and realize that we’re all in this together. I’m glad I’m not traveling alone.